Decade-ence

In Which the Alliterates Begin Their Tenth Year

In November of 2004, the Alliterates began their tenth year. During the course of their existence, they had met 111 times, had published over 80 novels and countless short stories, and had won multiple awards.

And, while the Alliterates gathered around one table in Wisconsin, 2000 miles away, the West Coast Alliterates gathered around another. The members of these two groups—joined by a common love of writing, a common history, and a digital “table” around which they all gather—were no longer would-bes. They had become what they dreamed of being.

Next month in Wisconsin, the first order of business was introductions: Lester had brought a young writer friend, much the sort of man that had begun this group ten years before. Here is a fictionalized reconstruction of those introductions.

DOUG: Of course, you know Lester.

GUEST: Yes—

TIM: And you came anyway—brave soul.

ROB: Lester is definitely the poet of the group. He’s recently taken top honors in a contest of the Wisconsin Fellowship of Poets, and he’s applying for graduate work in poetry.

DOUG: And next to him is Steve.

GUEST: Hello.

ROB: He’s our Asian specialist—author of three samurai novels—as well as movie tie-ins and best-selling children’s mysteries.

LESTER: Steve has an alter-ego that’s been publishing for seventy-five years.

DOUG: And beside him is Tim.

GUEST: Hi.

DOUG: Tim’s our resident rock star, entrepreneur, landlord—

DON: —Brain surgeon, rocket scientist. His nickname is “Buckaroo.”

DOUG: And, beside him, is Matt, the youngest among us, but the one with the most experience and connections in games.

TIM: He’s also the most prolific—not in terms of novels, but in terms of children. He’s the only Alliterate with quadruplets.

LESTER: The only one yet.…

DOUG: And next in line is Troy. He’s the biggest commercial success, with his Star Wars novels.

TROY: In fact, I’m going to have to cut out early tonight. I’ve got a tight deadline.

ROB: Don’t go, Troy. Join us, and together we can rule the galaxy!

DOUG: And then we have Don, who is currently running war games for a United Nations Peacekeeping taskforce.

GUEST: Cool—

STEVE: What better way to use war gaming?

DON: As H. G. Wells said, “Peace on earth and war on the tabletop.”

TIM: And, of course, sitting beside him is Doug—our most published member. How many books do you have published?

DOUG: Thirty-five.

GUEST: Holy cow!

DOUG: And, last but not least is Rob, who was the founder of this little group. He’s also the Alliterate with the most literary aspirations.

LESTER: Rob’s the biggest prophet of the group.

ROB: Without honor in his own country. That’s almost 300 million people I’m dishonored with. Maybe I should move to Liechtenstein.

LESTER: And, of course, guys, this is my friend S___ .

ALL: Hi…welcome…glad you’re here.

LESTER: He’s working on his third novel. I’ve read most of it, and it’s really terrific—

GUEST: But I haven’t yet gotten anything published. I haven’t actually even sent anything in. I’m trying to work up the courage.

ROB: If courage fails, try arrogance. That’s what works for me.

STEVE: And hang in there. That’s what’s works for all of us.…

After these introductions, Rob presented the very history you are now reading. He read the account of the humble beginning and the first meeting. Then the group performed a reader’s theater of the sample meeting. Errors were corrected, suggestions were made, and memories charged the air.

The food arrived, and the conversation ranged—from rat brains controlling flight simulators to bad jokes about tape worms. The Alliterates spoke of new projects and old, of the struggles of parenthood and authorship, of the realization that in another ten years, they would seem a gathering of white-bearded Santa Clauses.

As always, of course, the night eventually wound down. One by one, the Alliterates tossed cash into the middle of the table and stood, giving regretful farewells. They went their separate ways, knowing they would gather again soon, in a new month, in a new year—in an all-new decade of Alliteracy!